Tuesday, June 27, 2006

Food Reviews

Reviews of food are the funniest things on the interweb, bar none. In the grand ranking of all internet funnosity, reviews of food and not-quite food rank numero uno, as illustrated below:

1. Food Reviews
2. Pornography reviews
3. Monty Python-style silliness

All else funny falls somewhere lower.

I present here, some particularly gruesome "food" reviews, in no particular order.

Steve, Don't Eat It! (repressentative quote "GodDAMN these are foul.")
X-Entertainment ("Makes you wonder if Swanson's assembly line includes a few specially trained apes who run around the belt shitting in the trays at timed intervals. And tear down my theory all you want - ape shit probably isn't any more disgusting to eat than whatever these sausages are composed of.")
SomethingAwful ("I can not be held responsible for the trail of misery and wasted lives that I leave in my wake as I embark on the most off-the-wall, completely INSANE taste test ever.")
ZUG ("It was akin to eating a box of Oreo cookies and having the creamy filling pack itself into your rear molars like spackling compound ... but much, much soapier.")

There are many others, and most of the sites listed above have multiple examples. Bored? Need to confuse your coworkers by laughing at a screen full of text and pictures of obscure foods?


1 comment:

Carlo said...

I think you have to qualify these as not just "Food Reviews", but rather "Bad Food Reviews" or "Incomprehensible as to why anyone would want to eat THAT Food Reviews". Many Food Reviews exist on the intarweb that are neither funny, nor entertaining... I know, my parents frequent the damned Food Network all the time...